July 27th, 2009 - "The Case of the Butt Hair Bandit"
- Greg: So, I'm kind of vexed.
- Gil: Oh yeah?
- Greg: Someone keeps leaving their ass hairs on the toilet at work. I've nicknamed them the "Butt Hair Bandit." And I'm obsessed with discovering the person's identity.
- Gil: Do you even work at your job?
- Greg: This is far too important. I suspect that its our graphic designer because a.) he's a beatnik and b.) I have verbal confirmation that he doesn't not use the toilet tissue for the toilet seat.
- Gil: A beatnik?? So fucking call that scumbag out!
- Greg: I did! It was something out of NYPD blue! I was all like - "Have you shit this morning??" He responded "Yes." Then I asked him if he used the toilet seat protector. He vehemently denied using it and then asked me if I did - As if I'm a lesser man for doing so. I told him I had no alternative since some god damned person was leaving stray ass hairs everywhere. He shut up immediately. Butt Hair Bandit identified. Case Closed.
- Gil: Ridiculous.
- Greg: My skills of deduction and reasoning? They most certainly are.
