July 13th, 2010 - "R.I.P. George "Benny 'The Jet' Rodriguez" Steinbrenner, III (Feat. Joni C.)
- Gil: George Steinbrenner died last night from a heart attack.
- Joni: Yeah, my brother just called me. Sucks.
- Gil: Yeah. Now who's gonna play right field? Too soon??
- Joni: Not soon enough.
- Gil: Yeah. I'm glad though that he died the way he did... Winning the 2010 Home Run Derby with a 500 ft. State Farm Golden Ball smash. Opposite field bitch...
- Joni: NOW it's too soon. You've crossed the line. Everyone knows he was not about the long ball. He liked to put the ball in play and get on base.
- Gil: They didn't call him George "Benny 'The Jet' Rodriguez" Steinbrenner for nothing...
- Joni: The Jet's got a suicide lead... and there he goes! I can't believe it! He's stealing home! They don't see'im! The Jet stole home, the Jet stole home!
- Gil: And there he goes! Lotioning! Oiling! They don't see him! Lotioning! Oiling! I can't take it anymore!
- Joni: Oh, Benny "The Jet" Preffercorn! My darling lover girl... I'm bakin' like a toasted cheeser, he's SO hot!!
- Gil: I used to love Benny so hard that his weiner almost disappeared.. HAH! Bitches hate that...
- Joni: Smalls... just go into my pants, real quiet, and look down... What is it? It's called... the "Beast". What happened to it?? It got eaten...
- Gil: I asked Mr. Myrtle how long I had to stay down there and he said... "FOOOREEEEEEVER..."
- Joni: Let's face it mom, I eat nothin' but dick heads. Scotty, you'll always eat dick heads with an attitude like that. Go out! Make friends! Get down and scrape your knees! Eat out some ASS for cryin' out loud! Now.. how many mothers do you know would say that? Well... none mothers!
- Gil: When the fellow's flaming, you stick it IN your ass. Then... you STUFF... [nom nom nom nom...]
- Joni: Jim.. I mean.. Dad.. Could you, like you said.. teach me to cup the balls and take the shaft? Yeah, I will and I said I will.. but I'm under the gun here!
- Gil: John Holmes signed my boobs. He was the greatest cocksman that ever lived...
- Joni: Even my mom, a grown up girl, knew who John Holmes was...
- Joni: Man, if I didn't have to go back to work from my break, I'd be doing this shit all day!
- Gil: I know! It works on so many levels!
